Sir.. I’d like to purchase some Baboon Insurance:

A funny thing happened on the road today. The American delegates woke up
with surprising ease at 5:00 am on a Saturday morning. It must have had
something to do with the time zone difference. We had been staying at the
local YMCA for a few days. As a convenient farewell gift to us, the YMCA had
lost power the night before. So we double-checked our rooms over and over
again with our flashlights in an attempt to ensure that we had left nothing
behind… After satisfying any and all doubt that we were missing anything, we
boarded the jeep and left for Nairobi National Park.

It was quite the safari, the roof of the jeep was lifted up so that the
delegates were able to stand and take photos of the animals we saw. Fast
forward about 5 hours and 2500 pictures later we were driving through a
picnic area when we spotted a baboon on a picnic table nearby. The baboon,
sparked our curiosity… so as all of the delegates huddled over to the left
side of the jeep… obliviously snapping photos of the approaching baboon.

The baboon, took an interest in the approaching jeep and sprinted across the
field towards the jeep. Once our visitor arrived just outside the left side
of our jeep. He/(she whatever), sat down…. And stared up at us.

And of course… at that point we were all drawn to the baboon, snapping away
with our cameras when all of a sudden it began to moon Jackie. (And it took
a while for her to figure out whose pink butt that belonged to.) While she
was figuring that out… everyone was screaming bloody murder!

The source… was in the back of the jeep. An ambitious baboon hurdled onto
Julie’s back, making its way into the seat next to her. The baboon then
grabbed our lunch out of Ashley’s grips and darted out across the field with
his/her friend.

And well… there went our lunch.

However, we all stood dumbfounded by what had just occurred and were still
attempting to figure out why our driver was running across the field with a
machete in his hand. (That was when I realized there was a baboon darting
across the field with a flying plastic bag.) A few minutes later, the best
thing Jackie could say was.. “I hope those baboons don’t get sick from the
peanut butter!”

Fortunately for us though… Marc’s mom had packed him plenty of FiberOne
granola bars to last us the next two hours…. (Which ultimately led us all to
use the restroom in simultaneously.)

So hours later, we’re still in a state of shock from this interesting
experience… Julie asserted that next time she goes traveling she will be
buying a baboon insurance package. (GRO… Take note of this) I think would be
a very good investment because you never know when the next baboon you see
could be an accessory to a burglary.

I wonder if the Kenyan police arrest baboons?

- Greg Pollock